A Simple Desultory Philippic
(or How I Was Lyndon Johnsoned into Submission)

      G             Bb
I was Union Jacked, Kerouac'd
 C             Eb
John Birched, stopped and searched
 G                  A7      C         D
Rolling Stoned and Beatled till I'm blind
          G           Bb
I've been Ayn Randed, nearly branded
C              Eb
Communist 'cos I'm lefthanded:
G                    A7               G
That's the hand they use, well, never mind!

C Eb G G C Eb G G

I've been Walt Disneyed, Dis Disleyed
John Lennoned, Krishna Menoned
Walter Brennan punched out Cassius Clay
I've heard the truth from Lenny Bruce
And all my wealth won't buy me health
So I smoke a pint of tea a day

C Eb G G C Eb G G

                            F
I knew a man his brain so small,
                                G
He couldn't think of nothin' at all.
                      C
He's not the same as you and me.
                        F
He doesn't dig poetry. He's so unhip that
              G                                     C
When you say Dylan, he thinks you're talkin' about Dylan Thomas,
Whoever he is.
     F                G
The man ain't got no culture,
But its alright, Ma,
                                      C
It's just sumpthin' I learned over in England.

           G            Bb
I've been James Joyced, Rolls Royced
C              Eb
Mick Jaggered, silver daggered
G                      A7          D
Andy Warhol won't you please come home?
           G                Bb
I've been mother, fathered, aunt and uncled
C                 Eb
Tom Wilsoned, Art Garfunkled
G                A7                G
Barry Kornfeld's mother's on the phone

G               Bb
When in London, do as I do
C               Eb
Find yourself a friendly haiku
G                D              G
Go to sleep for ten or fifteen years
Пол Саймон
"The Paul Simon Songbook", 1965